Invisible prisons

Invisible prisons

Photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash

Many, many women live their whole lives thinking they have to do things someone else's way, working to an imaginary set of rules (compiled from various sources - mothers, fathers, churches, spiritual gurus, probably some coaches as well!) every day, despite them being completely arbitrary and restrictive.

'You can't do that!'

'You're not allowed to be so casual'

'You mustn't be so provocative'

'You can't go out with him'

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The Way of the Disobedient Woman

The Way of the Disobedient Woman

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

When I was growing up, obedience equalled safety. And for the most part, that's smart: don't touch the fire you'll burn your hand, take a coat, otherwise you'll be cold.

At some point though you have to reaffirm your sense of self - so you have to decide for yourself what is dangerous or not.

Except if you're in a belief system that says it's not safe to:

- express yourself how you want to
- connect with who it feels good to connect to
- listen to your intuition
- listen to your body wisdom

and anything else that the patriarchy tries to control...

you have to get disobedient.

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Sex and the patriarchy (women and freedom)

Sex and the patriarchy (women and freedom)

Photo by Marta Boixo on Unsplash

I saw a man a few months ago whom I haven’t seen in about 10 years.

It was significant to me because he was one of the first people who helped me realise the power of my 'being'.

(Even if the first thing I did with that power was shut it down).

He was one of the first men ever that I learnt to ‘read’ that he wanted to kiss me. It was in his eyes, in his body movements, in his face. He didn’t say anything, but I knew.

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Grief and loss in relationships

Grief and loss in relationships

GRIEVING THE LOSS OF A RELATIONSHIP

In the last couple of weeks I've had a few conversations about letting go of a previous intimacy....so I thought I would share a few thoughts.

Grieving needs space.

I didn't realise that what I was experiencing was deeply held grief, until I found myself connecting with two amazing friends who'd both experienced huge losses in their lives. They were using the word ‘grief’.

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Is neglecting our feminine energy reducing our potential in the masculine workplace?

Is neglecting our feminine energy reducing our potential in the masculine workplace?

What is feminine energy?

Feminine energy is a feeling energy, it’s about receiving, connecting, nurturing and being. Contrast these concepts with the masculine, giving, doing, strategising and planning.

To be clear - I believe we all have both energies, but I believe many professional women are neglecting and under utilising our power by keeping these feminine qualities out of the traditional workplace. Men who also feel as though they are ‘out of balance’ one way or another, may experience this too.

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The benefits of feminine leadership

The benefits of feminine leadership

Since I can remember, attempting to attract and retain female board members, directors and CEOs has been a priority for forward thinking and discerning companies. And concurrently, since I’ve been a teenager, I’ve been aware of the disingenuity of taking these steps merely to fulfil quotas and create the appearance of equality. Yet if we look beyond gender and look at attributes of feminine leadership (not female leadership - but feminine leadership) I suggest there is a deeper need for truly feminine leadership across every board of directors in Britain, particularly in service based businesses. Perhaps that will allow more women to easily find their places at the top.

What is feminine leadership?

Feminine leadership promotes the qualities that we may not typically associate with business. Empathy, vulnerability, sensitivity, intuition: these are not traits that we add to our job specifications for CEO or CFO perhaps.

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Yes, sometimes I don't know WTF I'm doing...

Yes, sometimes I don't know WTF I'm doing...

Here's what happens when you have a big vision for your life in the world and you start moving towards it:

- You piss people off 

- People misunderstand you and decide they don't want to work with you, don't like you or think you're crazy, irresponsible and rude. And unfair. 

- You spend hours thinking, procrastinating and lying on your bed, the floor and in the bath with fuck all to show for it.

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My housemate called me a d*ck

My housemate called me a d*ck

So I was chatting away at dinner the other day and I was talking about my Chemistry GCSE result (no, I can’t remember why). And I couldn’t remember what it was, so with a furrow in my brow was saying quizzically “Was it an A or a B? I think it was a B. I can’t remember."

My housemate just looked at me and said: 

“You’re such a d*ck”

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Getting supported (Yes leaders need to eat!)

Getting supported (Yes leaders need to eat!)

I used to think being supported meant you were weak. That you didn't have the know how to do things by yourself - from start to finish, and therefore you were somewhat 'less than'.

I also had this idea that being supported in any kind of household chore was snobby and elitist. That you weren't fully in your 'role as a woman' if you outsourced anything 'householdy' (SO much in that but will leave that for another email).

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Mastery

Mastery

Image my own.

Tears pricked my eyes as I climbed the hill. 

At nothing in particular and at everything in that moment. 

It was my early morning walk and I was reflecting on the events of the preceding days. What one of my clients was facing. Using my intuition. How I was communicating. Being a coach means that when something comes up in your client’s life, you know damn well there is something in there for you as well. 

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Trust. Or not.

Trust. Or not.

Image my own. 

The Law of Attraction is a law, like gravity, which allows us to attract (co-create) the experiences we want in our lives. 'Co-create’ - as in with Life/the Universe and ourselves. 

Basically, if you want to create a new set of circumstances in your life (for example that are WAY better, more fun, loving, happy and joyful - anyone?), you can use the Law of Attraction to put this into play. 
 

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Room with an (Italian) view

Room with an (Italian) view

Image my own. 

I remember the first day I really 'got' that I could use the Law of Attraction. I'd spent months (ahem, years) reading about examples, huge scepticism in my mind towering over a tiny voice within me saying 'But maybe it works...'

I was living in Pisa with a week left on my tenancy. I was torn - should I go back to England for a while or stay in Italy? I had moved mountains to leave my job, give away my stuff and get on the plane to go there in the first place...was I really ready to leave?

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If you want more TIME, this word is crucial [on boundaries, alignment and making space for your dreams]

If you want more TIME, this word is crucial [on boundaries, alignment and making space for your dreams]

Image my own.

It was a rainy Monday. 

I’d not had a productive day. I felt a heaviness in my body and my hip was playing up.

I decided to text one of my best friends and fellow coach, Natalie

"I keep pissing everyone off” I wrote.
 

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