In every moment, you have a choice.
When I first read that, I felt so much pressure.
In every moment, I had a choice?
I felt that I would more often than not choose the wrong thing.
Clothes, food, jobs, men.
I was notching up errors. My score chart had more black marks than white ones. Over the course of over 20 years, I wasn’t doing well. Yes, I’d done well at school and I was clever, but my ’success level in society? Measuring up against my peers…some of whom were married with children and had houses with gardens and ‘proper jobs they’d been promoted in'….The next 20 years seemed doomed. If I hadn’t made it well thus far, what were the odds for the rest of my life?
I wasn’t doing what I should be doing, or I wasn’t doing it well enough. I wasn’t making enough of a success of my life. Despite my privileged education and upbringing and wonderful family.
I wasn’t perfect.
This little scornful voice tells you a lie.
The 'every moment choice' is a WONDROUS thing.
It means, no matter how many wrong turns you make, the next moment, you can begin again.
How amazing is that?
It means that whatever job you took on and got stuck in, it’s not forever if you choose differently now.
It means that you can start a break-up conversation if you need to. Now.
It means you
It means, no matter how many times you choose that fear choice - that terrifying fear you have - over the choice of love, no matter how often you choose to do the same old thing over and over again, no matter how many blogs you read (including mine!) that urge you that you MUST START NOW, it doesn’t matter, because you get a new chance.
A chance to see your circumstances as a problem that can’t be solves…or an opportunity to give it a go.
A chance to learn or a place to stay stuck.
Even if you feel like you’re too old, or it’s too late.
I moved to Pisa earlier this year and I was trying to push every door there. I moved into an apartment. I started to put down roots. I bought my bus pass. I even bought hangars for my closet. (Ok, not massive investments, it has to be said, but when you’ve for the most part been living out of a suitcase for a year hangars do represent a certain kind of permanence.)
What I didn’t admit to myself was that I was doing it because I thought I should. I had chosen Pisa, and now I just had to get on with it.
I moved to Pisa because I thought that was the ‘right’ thing to do - but actually, in my head, I was chasing the wind. I was hoping and trusting it would all turn out, without me actually committing to being there. Without me investing my heart in it. It was me dipping my toe in the water, but the rest of my body was back up the beach.
There is a gift in every moment.
The gift is choice.
I could change the Pisa decision. I could turn it around. I chose to see it differently. I wrote down my options, thought about it, talked to some people and took the next step. I moved back to Vicenza.
Every moment. Think about every moment. Just now. And now. And now.
And next week. You can change your mind. You can try stuff. You can experiment. And whatever people say, you know best.
Danielle La Porte says: "You’ll do it when you’re ready"
Rest assured. Do it when you’re ready. You will. As Theodore Roosevelt said: 'Do what you can with what you have now' and take a big leap or a tiny step. When you’re ready.
It took me 7 years of changing careers before I was ready to ask myself what my crazy secret dream was.
It took me LOTS of jobs to ask myself what my true purpose was. (turns out I’m pretty good at pretending stuff to myself)
So today, take the pressure off yourself. You’ll do it when you’re ready to do it. You always can change in the next moment.
And know this: we’re all cheering on your choices.