I used to feel disheartened with my teachers when I would show them my work and they said: "Great, but can you do this and make it even better?"
And I would look at them and think:
“I’ve put all my effort into this and you’re wanting MORE?"
Now I realise. They could see more for me. They could see the ‘me’ that I couldn’t, that I was capable of being and doing more in my work. Their words were to help me begin to see it myself.
I can see that in you.
What is your highest, best, biggest vision? Your most ridiculous dream.
This is ALWAYS my question.
To flip it around: Why aim low? In case you fail?
Erin Hanson writes beautifully:
“There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask "What if I fall?"
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?”
We feel we have to play it safe and we hear people say:
"Stick with what you know. Just move sideways within the industry.”
"Think outside the box, but obviously don’t go mad, we need to get Board approval."
“Don’t go crazy, just take a year off or something. I know someone who did that and now they’re happy."
If you listen to the ones who say these things - the ones who always mean well but aren’t always living their boldest dreams themselves - you’ll feel limited, contracted and like you need to double check your life insurance policy.
Instead, start a blank sheet.
Be BOLD with your dream. You can still ‘play it out’ in a ‘safe’ way! But don’t settle just because you’re scared of what you COULD be.
It’ll challenge you! But isn’t that what you want? Challenge, freedom, creativity, the chance to see the world?
Or what IS it that you’re after?
Yes, that. Write it down.
This is your one beautiful life. There is something inside of you that you desire and if you’re not doing something about making it happen, you’re denying a part of you that is begging for magnificent expression.
What are you not letting yourself do, have or be?
Give yourself permission to want whatever you want. However good it is.
However uncomfortable it’s making you to hold a big vision and feel stuck in a small job, be warmed up to who you can be.
(I stayed a year in my corporate job after I’d developed my big vision so I KNOW that incongruence). However like a fish out of water you feel right now, keep that big vision central.
Your higher self - the one that’s the BEST, most glorious versions of you is the one whose skin you need to practice being in.
(I know you can feel her).
And when you say but what I want isn’t a proper job, it doesn’t matter. Write down the desire. I remember a time when all I could say to people about what I wanted to do for work was ‘Talk to people about their lives’.
My friends told me: ‘Claire, that’s not a job, you can’t make money from doing that.'
Several years later I discovered a new type of work: coaching. Talking to people about their lives.
Write about desires that aren’t jobs, incomes that are ‘impossible’ for you and lifestyles that aren’t physically within your reach. Write about partners you’ve dreamed of meeting and 150 bedroom homes. Write about plots of land you want to cultivate and possessions you haven’t got a purpose for and activities you’ve always wanted to try, but don’t fit into the ‘type that do that.'
How good can you make it?
I dare you!