I did hundreds and hundreds of exercises, read very many books and spent years changing careers before creating the vision of what I wanted.
There are two major sticking points in a person’s quest to finding work they love.
The first is working out what you want. (Over and over people tell me what they DON’T want, but you have to turn that on its head and get specific).
The second there is letting go of the expectations and limitations we perceive other people have for us or we have of ourselves.
Here’s 3 beliefs that held me back before I was able to unveil my big picture
Ask yourself what you would have if no one objected
At some point, we’ve heard someone objecting to us having what we want and we’ve taken it as truth. Maybe it was the idea that your dream to become an artist means you’ll starve, maybe it was that if you eat whatever you want, you’ll put on weight. Maybe someone complained about us ‘always getting what we want’ and we felt guilty - for enjoying life and being happy. But because it made them unhappy, we made ourselves small. And our dreams got shut away deep inside us where we couldn’t get hurt.
We hold back from pursuing our REAL dream because of this fear. We hold back because we were told we can’t have what we really want. We heard that "Life just doesn’t work like that."
When we step out and follow the path towards the dream, it doesn’t mean it all goes swimmingly all the time. But so many clients (and people in general!) that I talk to, don’t know what they even want, because it’s so far removed from their idea of what’s possible.
So, ask yourself, if no one is objecting to you having things YOUR way, what would you choose?
Flip ‘Will I be able to do this?’ into ‘Why WOULDN’T I be able to do this?'
We are often held back by the idea that we aren’t brave enough, strong enough, talented enough or that we’ll ever be ready to do what we want to do.
Marianne Williamson tells us that “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, it is that we are powerful beyond measure."
I believe that if you can see yourself in your mind’s eye as being that successful artist, the CEO running your own company, the community leader, you are already halfway there.
Our unique blend of ideas and experiences, challenges we’ve overcome, people we know and desires we have all contribute.
When you start counting them out, you realise: you’re ready to start now.
For me, in the last few months I know that 20 years in the church has given me ultimate grounding in spirituality and belief, and hearing hundreds and hundreds of sermons contributed to my desire to become a speaker.
The constant rearranging my room that I did as a teenager is now shedding light on my study of Feng Shui, and how changing our space can help us change our lives.
Not to mention how studying Latin at school means learning Italian is easier for me and my postgraduate qualification means I can do my own tax returns.
THIS is why we hear “Just follow your passions”. However random your path has been until now, it’s not wasted.
Stop thinking in ‘either/or'
When we start getting down into the detail, we think we come up with conflicting dreams. And ‘either/or’ thinking keeps us stuck.
We want to have a business AND a family but can’t imagine how that would work..because having a business is like having a baby, right?
Or we want to be on good terms with our family who are totally against us leaving our profession, but we also want to leave our profession. It seems impossible.
We have to rise above the current ‘limitations’ of our reality. Whenever I’ve come up against an apparent conflict in my desires, even if it takes a time, it’s always resolved.
In my vision, I wanted to live in England but I also wanted to live in Italy. At one point, I just couldn’t see how this would work. I wanted to be in two places at once but that’s not physically possible, I thought to myself.
When I dug deeper into why I wanted both (because I enjoy aspects of both countries), it dawned on me that I could live in both countries - half the year in England and half in Italy….or whatever ratio I wanted.
Yes, it might need a bit of organisation and a good tax accountant, but it’s possible.
These 3 mindset shifts don’t happen all at once. Surrounding yourself with people who HAVE these mindsets can limit your progress. Make it an action point to get to know people who have chosen to think differently, and see how much it makes a difference.
Which one of the above makes you feel the most limited, and how can you start to change your thinking today?