It was a rainy Monday.
I’d not had a productive day. I felt a heaviness in my body and my hip was playing up.
I decided to text one of my best friends and fellow coach, Natalie.
"I keep pissing everyone off” I wrote.
"What??" she replied, "What’s going on?”
The week before I’d sensed a change coming.
I’d asked myself for growth, I’d set some goals and I knew there was something shifting.
I’d reorganised my office and for me, this always brings a new perspective, a new challenge and a new energy.
Yet before that new energy could come, I had to take the opportunity at hand.
I wanted to increase my income and I knew there was one area where I was allowing my energy to, well, leak.
How I used my TIME.
When the time issue comes up, I know I have firstly look at what's not serving me, then work out what needs to change.
That starts with my schedule.
I look at my schedule.
I feel into what’s aligned.
I start saying no.
It’s the last part that had prompted my text to Natalie.
Saying no, setting boundaries and holding them can cause ripples (or waves) for the people around us.
Suddenly we’re doing something differently.
They don’t always like it first time around.
They don’t like it, because they were expecting you to say 'Yes' or 'OK' or 'Sure, no problem'. (And their job is done).
Sometimes it pisses people off because it's triggering in them a little voice which is telling them what they know they need to do.
Our stepping up challenges them to step up.
But sometimes the first reaction isn’t all that fun for us.
Highly sensitive and compassionate that I am, for many many years, I preferred to say ‘Yes’ and keep everyone else happy.
Even though I might get kickback from the no, even though I know I might be met with disappointed responses, even though I might feel forceful or even 'wrong', I know that I cannot create the space to serve my clients, be a good friend, sister or daughter without being supported by the safe, strong structure that a solid set of boundaries gives me.
It allows me to show up fully, present and at my best so I can give my most creative, loving response or idea or energy or message - whatever is required.
Recently I've said a LOT of 'no's.
To some people I love and opportunities that sounded awesome.
To relationships that could be deepened and expanded.
It's not that they weren't great - and could be great for me.
But it didn't feel aligned. My inside was saying 'It's not the right time.' and 'It's not for you' and 'Not this'.
I'm learning to trust the alignment.
And if I did say no to something that maybe would have been better as a yes, I'll review and learn for next time.
So I'm curious Archive.
Do you find it easy to say no?
What do YOU find it difficult to say no to? (Or perhaps whom you find it difficult to say no to?)
What has happened in the past?
Did you grow up seeing 'saying no' modelled well?
What difficulties do you have saying no?
It was a rainy Monday.