Here's what happens when you have a big vision for your life in the world and you start moving towards it:
- You piss people off
- People misunderstand you and decide they don't want to work with you, don't like you or think you're crazy, irresponsible and rude. And unfair.
- You spend hours thinking, procrastinating and lying on your bed, the floor and in the bath with fuck all to show for it.
- You feel like a fool regularly (whether you're actually doing anything towards your 'dream' or not)
- You make choices that seem to shut you down to the world and you act differently with people so they are confused
- You have a fucked up definition of normal and you also think you want a 'normal' life (sometimes for 10 minutes sometimes for 10 days)
- You find that people don't have the same ideas as you (ok, yes, lol)
- You get sad because people you've known and been close think you've changed (they are right obvs, but you're still sad)
- You take leaps before you're ready and feel stupid and don't take obvious steps everyone else has been politely suggesting you take for ages
- You find people who you think are going to be your new best friends forever, then you realise you've grown in different directions
- lots of other stuff (people write books about this journey so read one if you want to know!)
There are these moments.
When everything is chaos outside in everyone else's life but within it's all stillness and calm.
And it's the sweetness because yes, you knew.
And this was the feeling you wanted and it's here and stuff the days that felt like confusion, crappiness and pain.
Because it's here and you're living it and it's the best feeling you have ever had.
This is why you came.
This is why you serve.
This is why you're here.