Why the patriarchy likes to control

Why the patriarchy likes to control

Photo by Rohan Makhecha on Unsplash

One of the most powerful things I've watched recently was the documentary 'I am Malala' - about Malala Yousafzai's story.

Although I had been following the news as it came through at the time, there was quite a lot about the family's Islamic faith and the history of the family that I hadn't been aware of.

I received it with some mixed feelings, seeing a young spiritual girl, who'd grown up within a patriarchal religion (albeit with a strong sense of self) standing up for equality, speaking her truth. I identified with some of her words and thoughts from my own experiences, other parts, way beyond my comprehension and experience.

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Room with an (Italian) view

Room with an (Italian) view

Image my own. 

I remember the first day I really 'got' that I could use the Law of Attraction. I'd spent months (ahem, years) reading about examples, huge scepticism in my mind towering over a tiny voice within me saying 'But maybe it works...'

I was living in Pisa with a week left on my tenancy. I was torn - should I go back to England for a while or stay in Italy? I had moved mountains to leave my job, give away my stuff and get on the plane to go there in the first place...was I really ready to leave?

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How I healed my chronic hip pain naturally

How I healed my chronic hip pain naturally

Delighted to have been featured on MindBodyGreen this month: 

The boiler had broken at work, and it was cold in the office. Usually the cheery chatterbox of the team, I had snapped at my colleagues. As I bent my head over my work, I could almost see the looks being exchanged and knew one of them was probably typing an email to the rest of the team saying "What is up with HER today?" My boss took me into a meeting room and asked me what was wrong.

The tears began to flow, and I poured out a story of everything being "a bit too much." She sent me home for a week.

Read the full article here

(http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-27698/how-i-healed-my-chronic-hip-pain-naturally.html)

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You've probably heard you have to do this....

You've probably heard you have to do this....

You've probably heard you have to do this to create the life that you want:

Have the right mindset
Undo the limiting beliefs
Believe that you can do it


It's all very well saying this - it's true by the way - our beliefs DO shape our reality, because we act on them, give off a 'vibe' based on what we believe and talk about what is true for us (all this putting into play the Law of Attraction as I mentioned last week - if you missed it, it's here)

BUT HOW DO YOU ACTUALLY GET THE RIGHT MINDSET???

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Feel like you're fighting everything?

Feel like you're fighting everything?

Image by Jorge Gonzalez. Used under a creative commons zero licence. 

Everything is against me, I thought. 

My colleague’s seem to be deliberately unhelpful. I’ve got SO much work. And I DON’T want to BE HERE. 

I was miserable. I dreamed of working for myself, having my own clients. I longed for the sunshine, peace, space and time to myself

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The biggest lie you can tell yourself

The biggest lie you can tell yourself

Image by Pablo Basagoiti. Used under a creative commons zero licence. 

I DO go on about vision. Knowing your direction, what your deepest self truly desires to experience in life, getting clarity on what you actually want is SO important. 

But it also requires ACTION. 

And there is a huge obstacle that can get in the way.

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Your dirty little career secret

Your dirty little career secret

Image by Benjamin Coombs. Used under a creative commons zero license.

You perfected the art of going to school. You breezed through college or Sixth Form. You got your A-levels, chose a degree, graduated and finally landed that position. 

Your parents were delighted they could now refer to you as a ‘professional’. They could talk about the company you work for and how much you’re enjoying your job. They airily address their friends by saying ‘Oh she’s now in London, working for so and so, yes loving it."

Except you’re not.

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How good can you make your dream?

How good can you make your dream?

Image by Julia Ceasar. Used under a creative commons license. 

I used to feel disheartened with my teachers when I would show them my work and they said: "Great, but can you do this and make it even better?" 

And I would look at them and think:

“I’ve put all my effort into this and you’re wanting MORE?"

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5 books that changed my life

5 books that changed my life

Reading is up there on my list of favourite activities...particularly reading in the sunshine or curled up on a huge squishy sofa for an afternoon of solitude. 

Through the last few years I've been supported through the wisdom and encouragement of those who have gone before and learnt how to step out and commit to my own journey. 

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3 mindset shifts to help you find work you love

3 mindset shifts to help you find work you love

Image by Davide Ragusa. Used under a creative commons zero license.

I did hundreds and hundreds of exercises, read very many books and spent years changing careers before creating the vision of what I wanted. 

There are two major sticking points in a person’s quest to finding work they love.

The first is working out what you want. (Over and over people tell me what they DON’T want, but you have to turn that on its head and get specific).

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My multiple 'career changes' (and how you can avoid this)

My multiple 'career changes' (and how you can avoid this)

It was 7 years ago that I first googled 'changing careers’.  

I hadn't known what I wanted to do after University so I took a gap year, temping in Canada. It was a whirl. An adventure. And then 4 of my close friends got engaged and started getting mortgages and sending out wedding invitations and I took fright. I needed to get a proper job. Settle down. Stop messing around. 

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Who is looking after your dream?

Who is looking after your dream?

Image by Marta Pawlik. Used under a creative commons zero license. 

There is a horrible, inevitable ‘feeling’ you have when you keep grinding away at a job that you hate.

A ‘Will I ever get out of this?’ feeling. Of course, there is a possibility of redundancy. But if we ‘wait’ for something to change, we then realise…it’s only ourselves that is stopping us from moving forward. 

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It's a dance (on listening to your heart)

It's a dance (on listening to your heart)

Image by Luke Pamer. Used under a creative commons zero licence. 

How much do you listen to your heart? 

Saying no ‘feels’ wrong sometimes. You're convinced you'll hurt someone’s feelings. You feel uncommitted. It means ending a relationship. 

And sometimes saying no is about aligning with what your instinct tells you, however crazy it 'sounds'.

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Are your dreams a little too 'out there?'

Are your dreams a little too 'out there?'

Image by Amanda Sandlin. Used under a creative commons zero licence.

We wish our dreams weren’t quite so, well, way out there.  

We think we’re even a little crazy for having this dream. We've had a lot of those reactions whenever we say something that’s a little off-piste, that is, compared to everyone else.  

We wonder if we’re just selfish. 

We’re not. Oh, we’re so not. 

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Why being specific is important for getting what you want

Why being specific is important for getting what you want

Image by Glen Carrie. Used under a creative commons zero license.

Remember that scene in When Harry met Sally where Harry and Sally stop off at a diner on their roadtrip to New York?

Harry says to the waitress  "I’ll have number 3 please” and then looks on amazed as Sally explains in detail her very specific order.

 

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How to create one vision from a myriad of interests

How to create one vision from a myriad of interests

Image - my own.

What happens if you have loads and loads of things you want to do in your life, but don’t know how to make them all fit into one big vision?

We think we have to choose because we haven’t got enough time to satisfy them all, and they represent fifty different jobs and industries.

We think we have to compromise. We think we can’t have everything, we have to decide which ideas we want the most and stick with that. We wonder whether we’ll even like it if we get it.

 

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