The 'I am not enough' issue
/You know the story...you've most likely told it to yourself about something you want, but you feel unworthy of.
“I am not enough (or not good enough) to do or be that.” “I am not good enough for that girl or that guy.” “(S/he must not want me because I'm not enough)...”
“I can't start a business because no one will want to buy from me”, or “I'm a rubbish salesperson” or “It'll fail”, like everything else, because “I'm not like everyone else, I'm not good enough...”
“I can't change my career because I'm not young enough”. “It would be fine if I were in my early twenties, but now I'm too old...” or “I don't have the skills or energy” (I am not enough).
If you have a story which says you're ‘not enough’, it will show up everywhere.
I was going on dates for a while where every man I was meeting was sweet, attentive and kind, but ‘not enough’ for me. This EXACTLY mirrored the story I held in myself about ME not feeling enough.
I can pontificate for hours about where this has come from - in my case, I believed I was 'nothing' because I was taught at a young age that I was a sinner, and so unworthy of having what I wanted.
In fact, I took this as far as thinking, if it's something I want, I SHOULDN'T have it.
What limiting beliefs to live with!
Yet I lived with these beliefs for years.
I heard the message over and over and over again - I wasn't enough because I was unworthy of my desires.
Here's how it can show up:
In your bank account (there never seems to be enough money)
In your schedule (I'm running out of time, I never have enough time)
In your love life (s/he's not there for me, she's not good enough, there aren't enough men or 'quality' women)
In your career (I'm not good enough to be promoted, my job isn't satisfying enough)
In your sex life (we're not having sex or it's not enough)
In your community (people aren't there for me, there's never enough people to do things)
You probably have heard the idea that your thoughts create your reality. Thoughts create emotions, which affect how you act and how you are in the world. And other people in the world respond to how you present yourself.
It took consistent support and focus from me to undo the effect of that conditioning to begin to own a new belief:
I am enough.
I am plenty.
I am more than enough.
So if you're carrying around a belief that you're not enough, is it a surprise that this is what you see in your world?
When you change your perspective, you can change everything!
What if you knew you were enough?
What if you felt SO good because you knew you were more than enough?
What if you were able to start showing up in the world as who you really are because you can just be YOU?
My experience hasn't been easy - I tried to 'convince' myself into a new belief, when really I had to undo all the beliefs that had gone before. It needed commitment, focus and a decision that I was not going to live the rest of my life with this limiting idea.
I didn't do it alone. I invested in support from coaches, asked for support from friends and joined communities which support individuals to be themselves at their best. I have read books and blogs and journalled around this issue a lot because the belief was held so deeply within me.
Here's the thing: if you decide you are enough you’ll start seeing ‘how’ you’re enough.
Keep ‘trying on’ the belief, act ‘as if’ it’s true….it takes practice.
One day you’ll believe it.
