Different country, same old sh*t?

I was speaking with a lovely lady a little while ago and she was wondering if it was all going to be worth it, if she ditched her job and landed herself with the dream.

She said one of her fears was stepping out, making a big move overseas and then facing 'the same old sh*t.' 

Honestly? The answer is - no. And yes.  

Whenever I arrived in Italy (even the first time I went for a holiday), I felt as though I was ‘on track’ with my dream. It was warm, it was beautiful, the gelato was amazing. 

Yet that didn’t mean every issue I had was solved or every problem went away. Wherever we are, we face challenges. Because although we change to step into a different life, we also must overcome the challenges and BECOME more of ourselves to fully enjoy the life we desire.

We are stretched and so we blossom.

And sometimes you have to be in the new place before you can begin to face the sh*t you have to face.

And yes sometimes familiar fears and challenges arise. 

As horrible as that sounds - it’s a fabulous thing. It’s bringing you home to who you really are. That strong, vital, powerful individual, with something to give. 

The person you want to become. That person who you already are.

When you have a dream, I believe it’ll hurt MORE if you don’t go for it.

What we push down inside ourselves -  our heart’s deepest desire - will show up again. If we don't do something, eventually it'll resurface...perhaps even as a physical pain. 

When we step out, as unready as we might feel, we open ourselves up for growth.

Which is a CHALLENGE. But it’s also AMAZING. 

There were times during my time living in Italy where I felt as though life was asking me: How much do you want your dream?

Let's just say there were lots of... WTFs!?!

Like not having a washing machine, and the nearest laundrette being a 20 minute walk away.

Like sharing a shower with ants and having to go outside to throw something away.

Like the de-humidifier being the only thing keeping me sane.

Like friends I’d met all treading on eggshells around me. 

I got on a plane and I came to Italy. I trusted. I'd believed in myself and my dream. 

So why wasn’t it working out?  

At the worst point I asked myself how much I really wanted to live there. I went through a period, common, I imagine, to almost all those who commit to a different country, where EVERYTHING is frustrating, and you begin almost hating the place you longed to go to so much.

I couldn’t understand why not everyone has a washing machine (until I had a frank conversation with myself - after all, this is reasonably common in England as well), I was frustrated by the heat, the constant sweating, not understanding the language, not being understood despite my language efforts, finding everything so complicated and seeing fear rise up for even the smallest of incidents and mishaps. 

And then I got something. 

Perspective.

I began to see the same frustrations differently. I started looking for the gifts in them. And doing everything I could to make it better - and then just letting it be. 

It was ME who had to change.

I wasn’t seeing the laundrette as a place I could practice a little Italian and appreciate the ‘stranger courtesy’ which is so common here. Every time I arrived or left, almost everyone said ‘Hello’ or ‘Good evening’ or ‘Goodbye’ to me. (I cottoned on after a while, and now it would seem rude not to).

I remembered that ants can teach us a lot about organisation and industriousness (and my housemate had a fun afternoon with the polyfiller). 

I remembered that the friends I’d met didn’t know me as well as the ones in England - and we all went for lunch.  

The world hasn’t changed.

I have.  

It's not without its challenges. If you commit to a big dream, there are obstacles, plans that don't go as expected, 'dead certs' that dissolve and twists and turns you could never have seen coming. 

Yet it's magical and rewarding. It's living and breathing life the way YOU want to. With gelato and lazy evenings on the balcony, prosecco for no reason and hilarious language misunderstandings. There's a privilege of insight into a rich, ancient culture and being so warmly welcomed, even though you are a 'foreigner'. There's moments to savour, photograph, treasure and stumble across such delicious fruit that has a taste that's worth it all.

IF you choose that way.

Whatever you choose, do it intentionally. Do it with the love that's inside of you. Do it for all of us.