What if I don't know who I am?


You might have heard about your core being. The soul. The inner you. The true you. The authentic you. But you have NO idea how to get in touch with that part. You feel pulled around by other people and you’re constantly seeking peace. You don’t even really like being with yourself.

Sure, you might have felt this part of you now and again. When you’re truly happy and content, if only for a fleeting second. But then it seems to just disappear, as life surrounds you with demands and deadlines.

Getting in touch with that part of me is the most important part of my day. Understanding this for my life has absolutely transformed the way I think, the way I choose, the way I spend, the way I eat and the way I am. But I won’t tell you about that today.

Because I remember when I wasn’t very in touch with who I really am. The me that I WANT to be. The me that I think is swell.

I want to champion that part of you that is truly who you are and who you want to be. So I’ve set out 3 ways that helped me get in touch with who I am -  at that beginning part  - when I hardly knew what I wanted, I didn’t have a dream and I didn’t know who I was.

1. Work out what you love

This might be big things like whole countries. Or attributes in the type of man you’d like. Or activities: tennis, hockey, swimming. Or subject matters such as 20th century medicine or specific engineering companies. Or a particular typeface or brand. Or lying in the sun with chocolate digestives.

State everything. However silly. The ‘silly' ones are often the most revealing.

2. Hold those things close

It’s tempting to do the exercises on a scrappy bit of paper and then when we have a cleanup, we think: ‘Oh yeh, I wrote down stuff I want but don’t want any MORE paper around’ and the piece of paper goes in the bin. Keep it safe. Revisit it. Add as much as you can every time. Keep it secret from everyone else if you want. But don’t keep it secret from yourself. Treat it is as precious. For it is. It’s about you.

3. Increase, increase

Where you increase the amount of things you love to do in your life, you get happier. Why? Because the things that make you happy give you energy and lift your spirit. In the absence of your dream, focus only on doing more of what you love to do. If at first you want more time to yourself and it seems impossible, start with 5 minutes. Then as you get used to 5 minutes to yourself, increase it.

Even if you’re used to accessing your inner being, this is powerful. I’m sitting here writing this and contemplating having a little go. Yes, you’re reading it and thinking it’s simplistic. But it will lead you to your dream.

And once you have a dream, you begin to know who you are.