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Are you a sensitive, helpful, community minded women (or man)?
How many of the below are true for you?
I do too much for the salary I am paid or rates I charge
I don't say 'no' enough
I often override the voice of my intuition or experience
I can often feel when something isn't right in my body but don't have the logic to 'justify' sharing it
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One of the key assets not talked about in work or business enough is the ability to use imagination to support you in your or your business's development.
Cash is not necessarily needed to have imagination but I suggest that it’s important to invest time in the practice.
No one has the same business or career path. Over the last few years we have seen that however traditional, safe and secure the path seems ahead, there can be unexpected twists in the road.
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
When I left the church, it was because what I’d seen, heard and experienced bumped up against my internal knowing of what was truth, and what was love.
Knowledge of the divine that I was taught at church did not include the goddess, trusting your intuition or opening to where love took you.
Looking back, having now worked through a lot of conditioned beliefs; investing thousands of pounds and spending many many hours looking, exploring and questioning myself, my thoughts, beliefs and choices, at the very basic level it came down to this: I did not want to be there because it did not feel right.
I did not want to learn more of what I had been taught, because for me, it didn’t feel good. And it created pain.
Read MorePhoto by Felicia Buitenwerf on Unsplash
You know the story...you've most likely told it to yourself about something you want, but you feel unworthy of.
I am not enough (or not good enough) for that girl or that guy. (S/he must not want me because I'm not enough)...
I can't start a business because no one will want to buy from me (or I'm a rubbish salesperson) or it'll fail, like everything else, because I'm not like everyone else, I'm not good enough...
I can't change my career because I'm not young enough - it would be fine if I were in my early twenties, but now I'm too old...so I don't have the skills or energy (I am not enough).
Read MorePhoto by Gerrie van der Walt on Unsplash
One of the most common questions I get when I share about leaving the church is 'How did your family react?'
Because most people who knew me when I was growing up and as a young adult know my family are all committed christians. And now I'm not.
The answer is: they didn't say anything to me about faith then. And they rarely have, which I appreciated.
But that didn't mean I felt comfortable about it - in fact often the very opposite.
Because I KNOW what they believe. I used to believe it myself.
Read MorePhoto by Ante Hamersmit on Unsplash
One of the biggest challenges for me on my journey of healing and growing was learning how to think.
I can't remember how old I was when I heard about the book The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck. I don’t think I even read it. But I do remember the first sentence was 'Life is difficult'.
It put me off. I already knew that life was difficult. What I wanted to know was how to make it easier.
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We get to choose everything in our lives.
Everything. Every day, everything is a choice.
But when we have no frame of reference - or even concept - of our own power because we've spent our lives thinking that we don't have a choice, it's tough to see how you can 'choose' abundance of love or excitement or money or fun.
Read MorePhoto by Christopher Sardegna on Unsplash
Coaches talk about ‘baby steps’ don’t they? You have this big dream and it feels all overwhelming and you don’t know where to start and the your coach or mentor tells you: break it into baby steps.
Well, it’s true. It’s the combination of individual steps over time that create the change.
Momentum is built through action, and your job is to take the next step.
You probably know this.
So what happens when you don’t know how to take the next step?
Read MoreWorking with my feminine energy (not least to give the feminine within me a little more air time) has been my personal focus for the last few years.
I know that I feel more comfortable in my feminine energy (although don't worry, I still like using my action-oriented, strategy-focused masculine energy as well!) so I have been consciously playing with different ways of living and working to embody this more fully.
I was speaking with a lovely lady a little while ago and she was wondering if it was all going to be worth it, if she ditched her job and landed herself with the dream.
She said one of her fears was stepping out, making a big move overseas and then facing 'the same old sh*t.'
Honestly? The answer is - no. And yes.
Read MoreFEELING M A G I C A L
When you feel magical, things change.
When you feel as though you're being your most glorious self, life flows.
When you prioritise yourself so there is time and space for your most potent gifts, - and you show up with them - people respond differently.
What is my magic, I hear you ask?
Read MoreEveryone says they can't do the thing they want to do. Do you? They have a reason:
Lack of time.
Lack of money.
Lack of know-how.
My story starts in the church; I grew up in a fundamentalist environmental, where there was a prominent ‘us’ and ‘them’ mentality, the ‘saved’ versus the ‘unsaved’.
Churchgoers versus the ‘unchurched’.
It was deliberate because the bar to entry was belief in Jesus and it was particularly strong in the tradition which the church I attended had grown out of.
When I found out that my (recently ex-)boyfriend had committed a serious crime, I didn’t choose to leave straightaway.
Read MorePhoto by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash
*according to me.
1. Self-doubt. Constant doubt. Imposter syndrome. This affects their self-esteem, their relationships, their ability to take action.
2. A difficult relationship with resources (money, time etc). Thinking there's not enough for everyone. Not being able to think creatively. Fear of the consequences of saying no.
Read MorePhoto by Rohan Makhecha on Unsplash
One of the most powerful things I've watched recently was the documentary 'I am Malala' - about Malala Yousafzai's story.
Although I had been following the news as it came through at the time, there was quite a lot about the family's Islamic faith and the history of the family that I hadn't been aware of.
I received it with some mixed feelings, seeing a young spiritual girl, who'd grown up within a patriarchal religion (albeit with a strong sense of self) standing up for equality, speaking her truth. I identified with some of her words and thoughts from my own experiences, other parts, way beyond my comprehension and experience.
Read MorePhoto by Roman Kraft on Unsplash
Ohhhh we've all been there, staring into space, getting lost down a google rabbit hole, mindlessly scrolling social media hoping to start feeling inspired again.
When that doesn't work? I have some suggestions! Here's 16 of them...
1. Change your style. Invest in a new piece of clothing (one that you wouldn't usually go for. Or revamp your entire wardrobe. Or wear something you haven't worn in a long time. Or try out a new look with what you have.
2. Declutter anything (anything!) in your life. Your kitchen drawer. Your car. Your garage. Your garden. Your jewellery box. Your phone apps. Your desktop.
Read MorePhoto by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash
Many, many women live their whole lives thinking they have to do things someone else's way, working to an imaginary set of rules (compiled from various sources - mothers, fathers, churches, spiritual gurus, probably some coaches as well!) every day, despite them being completely arbitrary and restrictive.
'You can't do that!'
'You're not allowed to be so casual'
'You mustn't be so provocative'
'You can't go out with him'
Read MorePhoto by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
When I was growing up, obedience equalled safety. And for the most part, that's smart: don't touch the fire you'll burn your hand, take a coat, otherwise you'll be cold.
At some point though you have to reaffirm your sense of self - so you have to decide for yourself what is dangerous or not.
Except if you're in a belief system that says it's not safe to:
- express yourself how you want to
- connect with who it feels good to connect to
- listen to your intuition
- listen to your body wisdom
and anything else that the patriarchy tries to control...
you have to get disobedient.
Read MorePhoto by Marta Boixo on Unsplash
I saw a man a few months ago whom I haven’t seen in about 10 years.
It was significant to me because he was one of the first people who helped me realise the power of my 'being'.
(Even if the first thing I did with that power was shut it down).
He was one of the first men ever that I learnt to ‘read’ that he wanted to kiss me. It was in his eyes, in his body movements, in his face. He didn’t say anything, but I knew.
Read MoreTwo Christian women have asked me in the past month or two: how can I stop what happened to you in the church happening to my children?
Here’s my answer:
Teach them to listen to their intuition. Especially when it conflicts with what their mind is saying. Mind and body and spirit can be aligned. If they are not, investigate.
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